I'm aware
by 8027lover7280
Summary: "I know it's not a game." I said as I smiled sadly. "But I'm aware how much it hurts you Tsuna." "That's why I say it's just a game." "Even though I'm aware it's not. At least, like that you'll smile at me with less guilt." Yamamoto's thoughts drabble. Slight oneside!8027


**Title: I'm aware**

**Summary: "I know it's not a game." I say as I smile sadly. "But I'm aware how much it hurts you Tsuna."**

**"That's why I say it's just a game."**

**"Even though I'm aware its not. At least, like that you'll smile at me with less guilt."**

**A/N Well, my third fic, or second drabble XD. It's mostly a drabble on Yamamoto's thoughts. ConCrit is very much appreciated.**

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We were on the rooftop as usual, with Gokudera arguing with me about something. I was laughing while I ate my first lunch —it was rice balls this time. At that, the baby hitman appeared and pulled out a green sub-machine gun and pointed it at Tsuna. I saw as Gokudera got flustered and went over to Reborn to probably try to get Tsuna out of gun-point.

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I cheerfully walk over to the scared brunet and _casually _place myself between the gun and my little boss. I was pretty sure the hitman wouldn't shoot, but it still unnerved me.

"R-Reborn, stop that already." You say as you throw preoccupied glances at me. Yes, _You, _I always end up calling Tsuna that, as if I were speaking to him. Even when we are in a classroom or with all the guardians, when I start saying _you_ it's always Tsuna. You're worried because of me. Why, Tsuna? Is it you fear the baby will shoot? Or is it-?

"Hahaha, the Kid's got another fun toy, right Tsuna?" You fear I'll realize that the _toys _are real? Really Tsuna, it's too late for that. Although it could be another thing, it really exasperates me not knowing what you're worried about. But knowing _you, _it could involve about everything except yourself.

"I-it's not a toy Yamamoto." You say, but I see a hint of relief at it. Relief that grows bigger once Reborn puts the gun away. You glance at him, at me and then relax.

Ah, so you _did _notice my move? Was that what scared you? I know at least part of it did. I want to tell you off when I notice you had started moving forward to block the gun yourself but then again, that's what I did too.

"Che, baseball idiot, of course it's not a toy!" 'I know, believe me, I know it's not' Is what I want to answer. Tsuna sends Gokudera a reprimanding look and he flinches lightly. I pout.

Tsuna, why do you not worry about Gokudera knowing it's real? 'Ah, right, he was part of the Mafia since the beginning.' I say to myself.

The beginning… In the beginning I _did _think it was a game. How naïve of me. Thankfully that illusion was quickly erased, unfortunately, when I had to put my life on the line. And I also discovered how much it hurt you involving us in the mafia; how you thought it was better I saw it as I game. That's the first thing I did for my Boss, I acted out my part, of the clueless friend.

I'm thinking way too much today. Why is that?

I felt observed and I notice the inscrutable black eyes of Reborn on me. I gulp nervously.

"Gokudera, I need you to come down with me." Oh oh.

"Hahaha, let me go with you, Kid!" I say. Oh no..

"No. " Way to be subtle. Tsuna and Gokudera both stare at Reborn, noticing something was off. I just stand there trying not to look at either of them.

"Is it about the mafia-game?" I ask, a pleasant smile on my face, but my voice held a sour edge to it. I curse to myself for my mistake.

"Gokudera."The hitman calls him, ignoring me completely.

"A-ah, yes, Reborn-sama." Aaand they're gone. Damn.

"I-I'll go to the c-cafeteria for um…" And there you go again, Tsuna. Always trying to make the other at ease.

"Tsuna…" I start. Tsuna…did you know? I love you.

"Err, onigiri! That's right I'll-" I chuckle at that. I approach him and ruffle his hair.

"It's alright Tsuna, you don't have to leave." You look at me attentively behind that goofy mask and gauge my expression. I have known you —or rather loved you —long enough as to know your reactions and actions. You smile, seemingly content with my expression and proceed to sit down; you then look at me expectantly.

As soon as I'm beside him, he goes into Reborn-was-here mode, note the _was. _"Mou, that Reborn, he didn't need to be so rude, right Yamamoto-kun?"

"Hahaha, it's alright Tsuna!"I assure him with a grin. He goes on, complaining about his training and torture he is subjected to daily. After one obviously painful (physically) memory I slap him gently on the back as I laugh.

"Ahaha, he's such a funny kid, isn't he?" This manages to snap you out of it and you weakly complain about me not knowing his real self, how he's only kind to me. After that you pause and look at me guiltily. I laugh again, trying to take weigh off the subject and you seem to relent. You then close your eyes, enjoying the sun on your skin and the silent interchange between us is comfortable. I take in the sight of your soft, brown locks, that fight any attempt at combing back, as you once confided me; your long eyelashes, that make you look like a girl, if we go by the complaint you made once, although I had to differ (they suited you just fine); my eyes fall on the small label sticking out of your neck that states just how small you are, to be wearing that size, I remember now, that time you mumbled under your breath in envy as you eyed the other guys and I could only think how all of them couldn't even compare to you…

Aah, I could go on forever…The case is, Tsuna, I love you…

"Yamamoto?" With a start, my head jerked up, a blush creeping up on me. Really, what was wrong with me today? "Erhm…Yamamoto?"

"Ah, yes, Tsuna?"I saw big, warm brown eyes looking at me before glancing at the floor. I could only think that I was lucky he didn't notice my blush.

"About, the mafia game…" I feel myself freeze. Perhaps I'm not so lucky? "do you still think of it as a game?"

Why are you asking me now? What is it you expect? Do you want me to reassure you that I'm still 'naïve' and 'innocent'? Or perhaps you noticed something and want to make sure? Maybe you want me to be honest with you for once? Is it a simple, curious question? Or is there some trap hidden behind those words? What is my role to play this time, Tsuna? I see doubt starting to shine in those beautiful eyes of yours and I know my time is up. Either I say something or…or what? You'll discover the truth?

"I…" I start, still not sure on what to answer. You looks at me and I go with the usual, I take the coward's way: I lie. "You mean the one you and the others are in? Of course I do, what else could it be?" Perfect, not a single hesitation, my voice was clear. I look at you again and I see relief shine in those eyes.

You then offer me a big, sincere smile. Did I do the right thing?

Ne Tsuna, did you know? I realized a long time ago I was in love with you. I'm aware of that.

But that would most probably scare you, drive you away.

I'm fully aware of that.

Just like the mafia game.

I know it's not a game. But I'm aware how much it hurts you Tsuna.

That's why I'll say it's just a game.

Even though I'm aware it's not. At least, like that you'll smile at me with less guilt.

"Hey Yamamoto…" I close my eyes as I paste a smile on my face.

"Yes, Tsuna?"

**END**

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**That was short. Anyways, please tell me your opinions on this. Thanks for reading.**


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